We're going through a really annoying time in a house purchase. It's just basically.taking.forever to WAIT through the arduous process of waiting for the banks, appraisals, fill in the blanks. Feel me? So annoying!
My life up to this point was marked with worry! Constant worry. I remember a time when I literally could not stop thinking about a challenge that was going on, and DEFINITELY not over a weekend. I probably could have gained back YEARS of my life if I didn't worry so. I just fretted! Paced, stressed, talked, but nothing I did was able to alleviate the stress I felt.
Almost seven years ago I started a journey for a completely different reason, but I found my emotional condition started to improve beyond recognition. I remember my mom commenting a year and a half in, that I was a different person.
I still wasn't to the point where I could go a whole weekend without truly worrying about a looking situation, and I definitely had days where it was evident I was still engaging in old habits.
So imagine my shock when I really looked at my situation this weekend and realized that not only did I let it go for the most part (seriously, probably 98%, but I was talking through options rather than worrying), but I took care of myself.
Saturday I walked for two hours, and went to a new church for their prayer service. And today after church, I took a 3 hour nap. Three hours! And it wasn't the fitful, "I should be up doing something" sleep. It was restful. I awoke at dinnertime, and am ready to go to sleep again. I REALLY needed it.
It reminds me of the prayer we say at night with the kids, "and now we lie down in peace and sleep, for You (Christ) alone are good, and love humanity!" He really has everything in His hands.
I'm EXCITED about this observation this weekend that I have made progress. I'm excited for the future to know that the steps I've taken to learn how to relax and rest have really changed my way I look at things. This is change. This is transformation. This is joy. And this is where I do catch my dreams.
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