Spiritual Growth and Christianity

The reason I looked for my job in 2010, my Christian School teaching job, the one that almost killed me, was that I needed to feel like I wasn't missing anything.  I needed to feel like I was able to parent AND to contribute to society.  I really was having a hard time finding meaning in my days, and I thought the issue was that I needed to be working outside the home.  

I really felt nobly about getting a job.  I thought I was helping families to have as close to a homeschool experience as possible, while also being able to have someone else do it.  I actually convinced myself of something noble - that I was providing a homeschool education for families who couldn't homeschool. The reality was I was making our own life way harder than necessary, and putting ourselves in a position where we needed to receive the same thing I was providing for people.  

So what was at the root of all this?  Impatience, doubt, a small vision, lack of faith.  I seem to be thinking of Abraham and Sarah, as they contemplated how in the world they were going to recognize the promise of God.  They didn't see how it would come to play, and they felt the clock ticking.  

For me, it was not knowing how I could make it through seeming endless days of mothering tiny kids.  I felt empty.  I definitely felt the long days.  I felt like I was missing out.  And it hurt so much.  I mean, my husband was fulfilled in his job, what about me?  Ugh, I just remember so much emptiness.  

But then only a month or two later, I was TOO busy. And I still felt empty.  And now I felt angry, too. I was SO angry. What was the answer?  What a debacle. How could I have life and feel such emptiness?

You know what made this worse?  I am (was) a believer!  I have been loving God for a long time!  And I thought I was supposed to have a purpose.  I can't explain how empty I felt, considering I was walking with Christ, I just know that I was empty.  And I didn't know how to walk with purpose without something to take my focus.  Idleness was definitely an enemy.  

So rather than try to figure out how to deal with that idleness, I interpreted the idleness that I obviously needed something to do, rather than doing the something I had, a little better.  

So, the way I decided to handle it was to heap more burdens on myself.  That was definitely wrong.  I will go into what happened next, in subsequent posts. I can feel the intense pain again.  Please walk with me through to the other side of this terror.  

This intensely emotional story gets worse before it gets better. Part of the reason I'm here is I don't want you to go through what I did.  Maybe you aren't facing the exact circumstances I was.  But I want to help you find the meaning inherent in your life. I believe what Christ says about His yoke being easy, and His burden being light.  

As I moved to that point, it was hard.  But those excruciating experiences cemented my lessons.  I never wanted to be in that place again. And I'm going to share with you what I did to ensure that.  

It's taken me a REALLY long time to realize simplicity for me is a core value.  That came after years of pain and unmet expectations.  The joy has been finding an unencumbered life that asks for my candor.  Come with me to find out a little more about how I got here, and the freedom I've found.  

Everywhere we turn, we get bombarded by incisive, scary, troublesome situations, in our relationships, in our nation, and in our world.  It's confusing, disheartening, challenging, and scary to know how to move forward.  

The entire time I've been a mom, I've totally wanted to tune out and stick my head in the ground.  Call it self-protection, call it my normal disposition of not wanting to be troubled.  

Interestingly enough, though, there are several ways not to be troubled.  You can either do like I did and try to pretend nothing's happening. That's a chicken move, though.  I mean, the entire time I didn't want to know the truth I enabled it.  And I rationalized it.  

You could also know the truth, and two things could happen.  You could become empowered to make a difference.  You could also rise above the fray and shine as a light.  The hope here would be that if you rose above the craziness, you could also stay out of the woods as far as circumstances go.  You know the truth, and it truly sets you free.  You don't let the insanity get to you or bring you down. You let it help you know how to move forward, and you move forward with confidence and trust.  

You also don't let your heart be troubled.  We are to have trust in Christ that He has overcome the world.  For me, the two principles are intertwined with this truth.  I can rise above because He has overcome the world.  

So tonight, as I'm completely exhausted, I go to sleep knowing what's happening in the world, so I can pray for it, but also knowing Christ has overcome the world.  I have to rely on that and surrender.

What are you facing today you're totally overwhelmed by?  How can you know what's going on, but rise above the fray AND trust Christ to be in charge, since he already has overcome the world?

I wrote this to a small group of people on my team, and the response has told me this has struck a chord with so many. I hope it's encouraging to you!

💕 Long Post Alert 💕

"You will keep in mind him whose mind is focused on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:8

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love." Romans 12:9

No matter what your belief system is, it's not hard to see that we are in a battle right now. It's REALLY weird, I live overseas and I do not see the same issues over here. It's definitely affecting the US. No matter how you perceive God, or not, you very likely see this.

Several of you have reached out to me. I will say right now the war is on us, and it is not between people. It is definitely light vs dark, good vs evil.

Guess what, we carry hope, so we are an easy target. The war affects your mind, then it manifests in the physical realm. Guard your hearts, for it is the wellspring of life. Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. If you do not guard your heart or take your thoughts captive, you are an easy target for the enemy.

Right now is a time to be vigilant. Focus on God and stay focused on Him. Don't let yourself be swayed, and what I mean by that is into doubt and despair. Jesus Himself told His disciples to not let themselves get troubled, to trust in Him and in God the Father. Do not let yourself get swayed into despair.

Your mind is the rudder of a big ship, and where you let your mind wander, your words and your direction follow. Keep focused on truth. Read Romans 12:9-21, which contain universal truths on how to treat each other, no matter one's beliefs, we would all agree with the words and the instruction there.

Use your oils. Pull out the big guns, high frequency ones.

Yes, Melissa, Rose, Frankincense, Royal Hawaiian Sandalwood, and Idaho Blue Spruce.

If you're waiting for a rainy day to come, how bad do you need it to be to use those?

We need to do anything we can to raise our frequency. Those include:
- Prayer
- anointing
- good thoughts (take thoughts captive)
- love toward others
- expend toward your spouse and kids love in their love language
- pay it forward
- pivot away from negative conversation
- don't let yourself stay angry
- USE THOSE OILS
- meditate on God and all His real attributes, not those made up by society to get us to fall asleep and stop believing in Him.
- meditate on Scripture.
- bless your downline. They have been given to you as a ministry.
- eat healthy food and even fast from something for a day. Restraint is a great way to build self-control.
- do not give the devil a foothold. That means no malice, envy, strife, covetousness. Instead adopt love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things. And we definitely need all these things. YOU need all these things!

Stop yourself and replace your thoughts. This is SO important. Don't give the enemy the satisfaction of robbing you of that which you have. We've gotten so complacent as a society we're handing that over hand over fist.