When I started teaching in 2010, I did so for super noble reasons. I was so EXCITED to serve God and use my brain. I didn't know why He would give me one, if I weren't going to use it, and I didn't think I would use one at home with my small kids. This blog is all about how I proved myself wrong!!! Flat wrong.
As I began my teaching job at the Christian school, I quickly discovered our days were crazy. Perhaps too much so! I think I overcompensated, from the lazy, hazy days of having two tiny kids, to having WAY too much on my plate. Back then, John was merely 14 months old at the beginning of the school year, and Shana had just turned 4. I had had enough of lonely days at home, and I thought my perfect remedy was getting a job and teaching. What a GREAT ministry! So I thought.
What I didn't realize was the inherent stress involved in adopting a day like I was. I was offered a half-time job at some point, but I would still have to drive to school every day and take the time dropping my kids off. I knew it was better to just do a full day, or so I thought.
I got up daily at 5:30, ran around the house collecting food for everyone, finishing any grading I had (more on that later, too), drove 35 minutes to drop John off, thankfully zipped around the corner to be at the church by 7:15. Often when I got to school I was still figuring out what I was going to teach that day. It was a struggle. And that doesn't even get into our day.
Then, I'd get home about 3:30, and vacillate on how to spend the rest of the day. Do I hang out with the kids, or do I grade papers? Do I rest, or exercise? It was tough knowing what to do. Every day I would struggle. And I feel like that was my first loss. I lost not just part, but ALL of that time with my kids. They were exhausted when we got home, and I still wasn't exactly sure what to do with them.
I lost the ability to rest. I was a constant mess of emotions and stress. I didn't know when to exercise, so I didn't. I wanted to appear professional, so I sacrificed sleep to prepare for the day. I was not doing devotions, and ironically I was teaching in a Christian school.
I remember at the time I was interviewing, praying, asking God if I should take the job. That whole conversation is a blog post too. I don't think God ever said no, and I think He said yes, actually. He said yes so I could learn.
I ended the year, fat, sick, and super unhappy. I'll tell you how I got through it, and how I recovered after it was over.
Unfortunately I haven't even scratched the surface of how bad it got...
For my other blog posts about my experience, click here.
Be sure to sign up for my newsletter, too, so you catch not only when I post, but other info I plan to put out via email. I will keep unpacking that year. What the enemy might have meant for evil, God used for good. I learned so much that year I hope will bless, encourage, and bring light to your path, as well.