personal development

I've got to live into more of who I authentically am.  Gone are the days when I try to take off the mantle the Lord has put on me to please people I hardly know.

Gosh, I've had such a challenge sharing my thoughts online over the past six months.  Can you feel me?  You know what I mean?  People are griping about masks, challenging politics, yelling at people for complying or not complying, pick the issue. I am here today to just observe the craziness of this time and to comment on something completely different.  

I chose to show up here from a different vantage point than you might see shared otherwise.  I know we have all witnessed chaos and destruction on all levels over the past several months.  I have been working emphatically over the past 6 months especially, and for several years before that, to really learn how to take care of me so that I can show up for other people as I know I am called to do. I believe God has a really high standard for us who believe in Him and are called according to His purpose, so I know my primary objective is to constantly humble myself before God, acknowledge, confess, and repent of my own greed, malice, envy, jealousy, and strife so that God can be known.  As I take care of myself, I know I can show up more like this person I know God has called me to be.  

Humbling myself goes beyond the normal "daily devotion" and "confess and repent."  I worked on routine, environment, and balance to create a scenario where I can always show up as that BEST self.  

Over the weeks and months, I will discuss HOW you can do this more deeply, consistently, purely, and lovingly.

When all help feels like it breaks loose, where do you get your grounding?  What examples do you have to share?

Have you as a leader ever gotten a message from a member of your organization who said they were quitting, or were “done?”   Has it ever been right as you feel this member is gaining momentum and about to break ground on a new opportunity, or about to see massive growth in a strategic area?  You have just hit the big time!  Yes, this can be really aggravating, but actually, this could be just the beginning of great things for you and your mission. This is a perfect chance for you to see the silver lining!  

Have you ever wondered, "why am I here?" I know I have!!!! I have struggled for a long time 

to know specifically what I'm about.

It's really easy to say, "I want to be a good wife, a good mom, and a good friend."  But that's something all of us want to do!  And if God created each of us uniquely, then I must have a more unique purpose.  It can't be so generic that everyone has the same unique passion!  That's not unique, and quite frankly, that "mission" made me yawn.  Of COURSE I want to be a good wife!!!  

Two years ago I had a funny conversation with my friend, Erin Rodgers.  I had just gotten Dream Catcher for the first time (really, how does that happen), and used it with Clarity as I slept.  (That's a GREAT time for emotional release!!!!)

NOOOOOWWWWW, what was interesting was that THAT night I had a dream about HER and HER dream!!!  

I messaged her that next morning, and explained the craziness that was the dream that I had.  Now, it was a clear, and VERY normal dream, but it was not MY dream.  She did what a fantastic leader does, and asked me what my dream was.  

I responded with an open-mouthed, "uhhhhhh.....um, well, I'm nooooootttt really sure..."

Her response prompted me on a quest to figure it out. I proceeded to apply Clarity and Dream Catcher together, both on me, and in my diffuser.  I have been doing that for months and months and months, and engaging in prayer, relinquishing my desires to the best of my ability, and trusting God in the process of revealing it to me.  

That was, as I said, two years ago!!!  She had also told me at the time that someone on her team at my level ought to know what his or her dream is!  She admonished me to figure it out quickly so I could move forward.  I did the best I could!  I definitely applied myself to the process, without trying to force it.  And it took me two years.  But I'm grateful that this morning I could articulate what wakes me up in the morning, besides love for God, my husband, and my kids.  

I am resting in my jam right now.  I don't know how long this will be my vision, before that changes to something else.  

Right now, it does inspire me, It does get me going.  It does fire me up.  It does ignite my passion. It does resonate with me.  It even ties to things that got me fired up as a little girl.  That's the other part that tells me I'm totally on to something.

How in the world was I able to come to that?  What exactly took two years?  That will definitely take some more blog posts to explain.  I will walk through that process with you, to show you my road map that helped me get to the point where I could hone in on what really ignites my passion and stirs my feelings.  

As we work on those posts, what have YOU found has been helpful for you in identifying your purpose, to knowing what motivates you, and what will keep you going when things get challenging?  

One of my earliest life verses I memorized was this verse, from when Christ was addressing the disciples and the people in His Sermon on the Mount.  He said that each day has enough trouble of its own!

I'm an old pro of worrying about life that hasn't happened yet!  I love to borrow trouble before it happens.  Problem is, that borrowed trouble heaps on top of the trouble of the day, and I end up completely overwhelmed and overly nervous.  I have had intense challenge in these situations calming myself down enough to just get through till it's time to go to sleep.

So have I learned this lesson?  Christ wasn't merely suggesting it might be beneficial not to worry; he actually told the people not to take on tomorrow's trouble, and not even to be concerned.

This took me a LOT of years and work.  I struggled literally every day for a lot of years, to get to the point where the day would just automatically stress me out.  I would start that way, and just try to cope.  

The first thing I tried was counseling and meds.  However, the meds caused me to rage and gain a lot of weight.  They even amplified the anxiety!  So I quit that cold turkey (I don't advise it), and I actually felt better almost immediately.  

I them amped up my running.  However, this was also about the time I got injured.  Plantar fasciitis, to a marathon runner, at 33.  More to get anxious about!

Well, then Kevin went active duty in the military, and I got pregnant with my first child!  I couldn't catch a break.  Oh my gosh!  The stress added on.  And we were in the middle of a war!  They extended his duty assignment overseas, and gave him months in addition to his original time overseas.  Not only that, but it was said you were either deployed, getting back from deployment, or getting ready to deploy.  When you weren't doing that, you were getting ready to PCS (move) to a deployable assignment.  Those were scary times.  It was there I decided I HAD to figure out how to not worry.  I said I was determined to live that particular day, since Jesus said that was all I was supposed to worry about.  Was that easy?  No.  It felt like driving a bumper car, where you keep getting jerked back every time you inched away from the track.

I then started using Young Living products and discovered that a supplement, MultiGreens, and two essential oils, Joy and Release, helped me to finally begin my ability to detach from emotions.  Now, I am not saying I stopped feeling my emotions, I just learned how to detach from them.  I'm not sure exactly how I did this, because I definitely tried to do that for at least a decade.  But I just found that with MultiGreens and those two oils, I was able to detach.  

The other thing that started making a huge difference in my stopping worrying was a daily gratitude challenge I began in October 2018.  I'm going on 416 days straight of practicing gratitude.  It has become a check for me, so that I have greatly limited my own critical nature and subsequent fear of the future.  It has now become habit, and I can even feel myself stopping myself before adopting a fearful, critical attitude.

Let's crowdsource! I'm curious!  What have you found helps you not worry about tomorrow?  What's helped you not even worry about today?